Prepping the Scene

There is a lot of work that goes into an actual scene. I am not talking about the random play encounters that I have at parties. Those are usually spontaneous and filled with laughter.

I am talking about private scenes, or scenes in public that have been planned out well in advance.

I have put together scenes where I am in the Top role or where I am in the bottom role.Neither is more challenging than the other, and both require a certain amount of finesse. They are completely different in every other way and anytime you are creating something with participants you have to factor in the "human" element. Realizing of course that mistakes happen, accidents happen, and unpredictable responses happen! In a scene you must always be aware and you must also always be on your toys and ready to improvise.

A scene that I will Top in I do all my research and get the scene ready to go and give the bottom a slight heads up about what will happen. As a Top I cater to what the bottom would like to experience and mix some of my own pleasure into the play. Being in a scene where I am Topping someone generally is meant to fulfill a need, desire or fantasy of the bottom. I am good, it seems, at finding people who's bottom fantasies align with my skills and fantasies as a Top.

A scene that I will bottom in is completely different. I see it partially as a teaching event and usually this type of scene is very well negotiated by myself and the potential Top. I figured out what they want to learn or experience and then make it happen. Sometimes they are very sucessful and other times it is a learning experience for both of us. It is much more difficult than it seems, and I am not sure anyone else does this. It actually feels more than a bit lonely in this role, I don't have to many people to discuss my experiences with.

The common element every scene I create or participate in, is trust. I have to have confidence in the person I am playing with or it fails miserably every single time. It was a good lesson to learn very early in my BDSM life.

While I am always instrumental in how a scene plays out I am not the one who makes all the decisions. My scenes are all about sharing the experience and having fun. Top or bottom, it is really all about having fun and creating a memory that will feed the fire or passion and desire that burns in every one of us.

So here's to your fire, let it burn baby.