Happiness is...

A brand new strap on harness.

Check out my big blue dick. I have been strutting around the house for about 30 minutes enjoying the feeling of my cock bouncing and jouncing against my pelvis.

This is happiness. I need to get my cockrings out and all my various dildos (including the glow in the dark one) and try them all on.

This harness leaves my pussy bare and able to be fucked, licked, fingered or tormented.

I will be fucking my female friend tonight. (Look baby no hands!) I am so excited I am on the edge of orgasm.

I am going to have to pop one off right now! WOOHOO!

Devoured

His tongue presses into my mouth as her hands tangle in my hair and pull my head back. My clothing has been torn off me and tossed aside.

Bared to thier hunger.

I am trapped firmly between them. While my neck is exposed he growls and bites me, hard. I squeak and struggle but am held firmly.

Human bondage.

She is holding me by my hair and biting my shoulder while her fingernails scrape my butt cheek. I squirm and gasp and plead. "Please! OHH Please! Help me!"

Their laughter mingles as he slips lower and bites my nipple and her tongue teases the nape of my neck. Shivering uncontrollably as she kicks my legs apart and he rubs his cock head on my slippery cunt. My body betrays my lust to them.

He is thrusting inside me and her nails are raking across my scalp as she tightens her grip. Her breasts squished against my back and the scent of our mixed desire spurns my passion to new heights.

Whimpering and begging, I feel her hand slip down and she pokes her finger in my bum and uses her fingertips to feel my juices coating his dick. I am in orgasmic bliss.

Crying now, and begging for release. The response is harder fucking and his teeth at my throat, gnashing and scraping the flesh. She is squeezing my tits and my nipples are poking out and rubbing hard into his chest.

Rocking my hips hard between them, I am squirting and screaming in ecstasy. Shuddering as her nails scrape hard down my back, I am launched into orbit. Endorphine high obliterating all senses excepting pleasure.

Yes... this is what I crave tonight. Come feed your desires in my lust.

The Penis

Male genitals make up fully half of the sex organs I am most fond of, with vulvas firmly filling the other half.

I like to think I am true split. I want both equally for entirely different reasons. That however is a different discussion.

Tonight I must discuss the penis.

Ah that most obvious of sex organs, I often wonder if the phrase "stand proud" originated in an erection. One of my favorite things about male reproductive organs are the various names used to describe them. I find it delightful!

We have penis which is the true medical term along with the more specific description of glans and testicles etc. (I don't want to stray from the shaft to far)

Cock, dick, shaft, peter, pecker, pork, dong, schlong, man-meat, sausage, prick, weiner, wee-wee, are al varients of the above. I'm so sure that there must be dozens more.

I like the names people give their dicks. Here are the most memorable for me.

Purple headed love warrior, yes that was all one name, he would sometimes call it his one eyed monster too.

Winky, binky and jack. Not the most original, but fun.

John, as in, I need to use the John (that was my hint to meet him in the bathroom so we could fuck) or hey how is John doing? Is he still as tall as ever? Yes I quite liked this one.

Thor, thunder, and Ceasar, the latter was indeed in reference to a conquering emperor. Ambitious boy he was LOL!

Thumper, that was fun.

Pokey as in I poke you pokey, not "Pokey the little puppy" although that would have made me chuckle.

Igor, I was informed it was because he leaned to one side and had a big eye.

Cyclops the Invicible, yes he had a bit of a thing...

Spock, because he could love long and prosper (one of my favs, he was so fun.)

So if any men reading this, or women, would like to share theirs or their partners penis name I would ADORE hearing it! Either in the comments or email, your pick.

Who knows I may use your cock name in my next story *winks*

Pinned

I love force.

A man who can pin me and force me, has my loyalty. It reminds me of when I was angry with Master.

I was frustrated. I had worn his training collar for 6 months and I felt extremely dissatisfied. He had hinted at things he wanted to share with me, but then wouldn't. He played games with me.. toying with my emotions and my sexuality. I was coming unglued.

I was desperate.

I had a ritual I must follow before arriving at his home. I had to be cleanly waxed. Clothed in only a skirt, blouse and jacket. Thigh high stockings and heels. No panties, no bra. Hair perfect, clean and ready for him.

I had to park across the street and cross to his door. Knock, enter and without looking at him or anything else, remove my jacket, flip up my skirt and kneel in the middle of the floor. Arms stretched out in front of me, awaiting his inspection.

I am angry because I am not getting my way. I am trying to think of ways to get his attention as I feel ignored. I detest being overlooked.

I speak to him. I tell him how angry I am and that I don't want to obey anymore. I tell him that I don't want to come over. I always have to come to his house and he never comes to mine. I am seething inside, my anger is bubbling over inside me and I can not and will not contain it.

He orders me to come over. I tell him FINE but I will not obey anything else. I get in my car and start my trip to his home. My phone rings, he asks what I am wearing and I tell him my bra, panties, dress pants and a shirt. He tells me I best not have bra or panties on when I arrive at his house.

I sneer at him through the phone and ask what will happen if I do. He tells me if I wear them, I will not get anything I want this weekend. No pleasure, it will be a vanilla weekend entirely. I am shaking with rage. Yes rage is the right word now, my anger has intensified and I am clenching my teeth together. I throw my phone on the seat beside me and swear at it.

I get within a block of his house, stop at a gas station go into the bathroom and remove my panties and bra. I jam them into my bag and see there is a message blinking on my phone. It is a text from Master. "I love you even when you are angry Mine, obey me, everything will be ok. ~ Master"

I am nearing tears as my frustration churns in my gut and I feel sick. I park across the street from his house. Angry that I am not even allowed to park in his driveway. He treats me like shit.

I get out of my car and slam the door shut. Stomping across the street and knocking loudly on his door.

The door opens, I can smell him, I won't look at him. I step inside, throw my coat on the floor and pull my pants off and throw them beside it. Messing up Master's perfect house.

I throw myself to the floor wearing only my blouse. Kneeling and stretching out. My breath is coming in gasps and I am nearly sobbing in my emotional state.

I hear him walking around me, I know he is looking down at me. I arch my back and tense every muscle in my body. Trying to close myself off from him in this wide open position he has me in.

His hand is on my butt cheek and I move away from his touch angrily. I don't want him to touch me! I want to speak and I want him to speak! He has not given me words yet and I am bound by my contract to obey him. My emotions whirling inside me, white hot.

He is silent and kneeling behind me. I am breathing in great huffs. He grabs my hips and without any warning he is pushing his cock into me and fucking me.

Fine! I fuck back into him hard. Pushing against him with all my strength. His hands are at my waist and I am growling in low gutteral tones. He is fucking me hard and I am holding back my orgasms.

Suddenly I am flipped on my back and my shirt is ripped open. He is squeezing my tits in his hands. He doesn't look at me, he treats me like a wild animal. I am hitting him and struggling and trying to get away.

He pins me to the floor and his cock is inside me. He is so strong and I am fighting him and gasping and crying and trying to bite him. His hands press me flat to floor and he takes his pleasure. I am squirting all over his cock and I am crying and screaming now "NO NO NO" my body has betrayed me. My passion is so obvious, and I am his to take and mold however he wishes.

He owns me. I am in tears as he whispers in my ear to fight all I want, that my body knows where it belongs. His thrusting is deep and hard and I am cumming again. He pulls out and sprays his cum all over my breasts and tummy.

He gets off me and walks to the kitchen. I can hear water running. I am sitting up on the floor and I am still thrumming with anger. This has solved nothing!

He comes back to me and has a glass of water that he hands to me. I look at it and take it from him. I want to throw it at him, but I don't quite dare. The thought actually scares me a bit. I sob and  burst into tears.

He takes the glass from me and sets it aside. He pulls me into his arms and strokes my hair softly. I am struggling to get away and fighting him and crying. Cussing and telling him I don't want this, telling him how angry I am and how unfair it is. Not using words as he still hasn't given then to me, only in my struggling and wild screams.

He has pinned me flat to the floor in an instant. Face down this time. And he is raping me. I am struggling and trying to get away. His hands are rough and hurting me and his cock is insistent at pulling each shuddering orgasm from deep inside me. The carpet under me is rough and scraping at my skin and the pain only makes me struggling more. His hands pushing me harder and deeper. I teeter on the edge of desire and anger and then tumble off into the abyss that is his passion.

He pulls his cock out of me and sprays cum all over my ass, marking me as his bitch. I am crying now in great racking sobs. He will not even feed me his cum... I am nothing but a cunt now.

I lay there crying, he pulls me up off the floor and cradles me to his chest. His hands are gentle now, and I am sobbing. He just holds me and rubs his hands over my body, he can feel that the stress of all the anger has left me. That and I am no longer trying to hit him.

I look up into his big brown eyes, I see concern and compassion in their depths, behind the confidence that always shines from him. I know my own gaze shows my confusion and my sorrow. I know, in that moment, that he can take anything I throw at him.

He continues to soothe me until I stop crying and then points across the room. There are five white roses and one red rose in a vase. He tells me they are for me. He tells me how beautiful I am, and that the white roses represent the purity and passion I bring to him each time I visit. The red one is my anger.

He asks me what I will do with the red rose. I look up at him and move away to sit cross legged beside him. Pondering the red, vibrant amongst the white. "I will leave it there for you Master, you must take all of me if you want any of me."

His answer is a smile and his hands, his roughened calloused hands, gently pull me back to him.

I am always amazed that I obeyed him even in this absolute rage I was in. I trusted that he could fix it, I trusted that he knew how to take care of me. In that moment, he did.

Songbird

We had been planning on attending the party for some time and I wanted to spend time with her so badly. She looked so beautiful and I was smitten. She flaunts her panties at me, they are the ones I gave her. *shiver*

I wanted her. Now. It was all I could do to push my desire aside and escort her to my car.

We had to stop at my place as I had just come from work. I showered and asked her to dress me. She picked my clothing carefully and I dressed and watched her as she lounged on my chaise. Her skirt hiked up and bared her legs. I slid my feet into my shoes and swallowing back my lust, watch her as she puts her boots back on.

Back in the car and arriving at the house. We wander back and come into her friends home. It is charming but I really only have interest in her.

The party is a small intimate gathering, and I am very quiet. I am to filled with desire for much conversation. I flirt with her constantly.

At one point they put on a song that she is singing in and I feel myself melting. So sexy, talented and beautiful. And tonight she will be mine.

She kneels beside me and puts her arms around me. I bury my face in her hair and inhale her scent. My heart quickens. I tell her softly how good she smells and that I am going to tie her to the pillar at home and take advantage of her.

She announces it is time to go.

We are in the car again and I am blasting Metallica, feeling the strong powerful music coursing through me. The sound of her voice is echoing inside me and mingling with the throbbing beats and my pulsing lust.

We are home, and I tell her to remove her clothing. She asks, all of it? I turn on the fire as I reply with a firm yes.

I have placed a variety of toys on the table and a pile of silk scarves. I escort her to the pillar and ask her what her safeword is. She hesitates and I tell her red, and she nods and says she will also tap on the pillar or me, and the faster the tap means the higher she is and that she is no longer capable of breathing to say red.

I agree and tie a scarf in front of her eyes so she can not see. Her hands find the pillar above her head and I laugh and tease her that there is no need to bind her and swat her ass. She squirms and moans softly.

Ah that voice.

I swat her bum with my bare hand several more times and then I begin scratching her. First with my fingernails and then with sharp sticks and after she is moaning and shaking I grab my crop and start beating her ass with it as I pinch her nipples tight in my fingernails. She is tapping the pole and not breathing.

I set the crop back on the table and run a silk scarf up and down her back, bringing her back a bit until I feel her starting to relax.

I grab an abrasive glove and a latex glove, I lube my fingers and slide them into her lips, fingering her clit as I scrape the rough glove over her ass and back. She is dancing now and pressing eagerly into my thrusting fingers as I stroke her breasts with the sharp points.

Running my gloved hand between her thighs I bite her nipples and suddenly she is begging. Her knees are weak, in her lust, and I am laughing.

I lay her down on the couch after removing the blindfold and introduce her to one of my favorite vibrators. She opens her legs wide and I am in my glory as I thrust my toy in and out of her. My hand stroking the shaft of her clit as she shudders and cums. I lean over her, still thrusting and capture her nipple between my teeth. She is bucking into my toy and crying out in shuddering squeals and I am enraptured by her.

It is not long before she is tapping again.

To soon it seems the scene has ended and I am enfolding her in my warm embrace. Cuddling her and caressing her softly.

My lark sings to me... I am infatuated with her sweet song.

Tease

I can tease as well as be teased!

I was taking him to his first party at a private club I frequented. I had dressed him and together we looked so hot.

He was driving and my hand was on his thigh, stroking softly up and down his leg. I turned and looked at him, damn he is so handsome. An evil little grin played over my lips.

"You can't fuck me there"

He glanced at me, startled.

"You are not allowed to fuck me, you can only fuck me when I say you can."

He smiled at me a bit nervously. "ok"

And then we were there and everyone was coming inside and I had friends around me and I was introducing him and laughing and joking with them.

Someone wandered by with a bag full of silk scarves and I asked him to tie me up. He made sure my friend was ok with it and then pounced on me. It was fun, I play well with this man although usually I tie him up.

He bound me to a metal frame and then rubbed me all over until I had an orgasm. Then he let me go, I hugged him and kissed him.

Returning to my friend I pulled him into a side room and tossed him on a sofa, straddling him and rubbing my hot and lust filled body all over him. His eyes were sparkling with desire and his hands kept cupping my ass and squeezing my breasts.

I hopped off him and grabbed a sex machine. I set it up in a corner of the room and directed him to sit beside me. He sat down and watched me climb on board the monkey rocker. I rocked my way to 3 orgasms before he just couldn't contain his excitement anymore and he pulled me off onto the bed with him. He placed my hands on the wall and crawled between my legs and licked and sucked all the juices from my pussy. His tongue brought me to the edge again and I moved away, wanting to hold onto the hunger.

I pushed him back when he tried to get up off the bed and yanked his shorts down to reveal his raging hard on. Yehaw! I went to town sucking and licking and biting his cock. He was groaning and moaning so loud we soon had an audience. I kept increasing the intensity until I was sure he was going to blow and then clambered on top of him and let his cock twitch and slither between my lips. Not allowing him to penetrate me just feel my heat and wet juice dripping, rubbing so his cock rubbed my clit, I came on him in a big gush and he moaned and whimpered. I slipped back down to suck my girl gush off him and then pulled away.

"No fucking till we get home, big boy."

I cleaned the machine and talked to a few friends. Did a sexy little dance and teased a few girls.
Then it was time to go.

When we got home I could tell he was tired and wanted to sleep, but I was raring to go and we still hadn't fucked. I pulled my clothes off and helped him out of his.

I pushed him to the bed and clambered on top of him. His hard cock trapped under my pelvis, he reached his hands back to grab my ass. I grabbed his hands and gave him a stern look. "NO touching!"

I rubbed my pussy on his cock and let him feel how wet I was. He was watching me and groaning and I was squeezing my tits. He opened his mouth and leaned forward to suck on my nipples. I squirmed away from him.

"NOO you can only lick them."

I let the tip of his cock push inside me slowly while I fed him my boobs. He licked the nipples in slow circles and then suddenly he was sucking. I jerked back and pinched his nipple hard!

"I said only licking!"

"I'm sorry goddess, I'm sorry it slipped."

I slid his cock all the way inside me and he writhes and moans as I twist his sensitive nipples.

"How can it slip? hmm?"

"I! I forgot!" He is gasping now and trying to hump me, I have relaxed into him and we bounce without him moving inside me.

"No more nipples for you for awhile, forgettful boy"

And then I begin to ride him in long slow strokes. He is gasping and groaning and trying to speed me up by thrusting faster.

"Do you want to lick my nipples again."

He bites his lip and nods up at me, his hips still thrusting.

"Then stop trying to make me go faster boy, I will fuck you how it pleases me."

He whimpers and his frantic thrusting stops. I lean forward and rub my nipples one at a time on his extended tongue. He is whimpering and looking up and me and shuddering. I fuck a bit faster and gasp as I cum on his cock.

I reach between us dip my fingers in my pussy juice and lick them. Leaning away from his mouth I scoop up more of my cum and smear it over my nipples. He is whining now and eyeing up my nipples. I lean forward and rub my cum coated nipple on his lips.

"Suck them clean."

His mouth is greedily sucking my nipples and I am fucking him in long hard strokes. His hands creep up and squeeze my tits and I allow him this. I am cumming again and squirting all over his cock.

Suddenly I am on my back and he has taken over, I know he can't stand it anymore.

"That's right boy, take me now and make us cum."

He fucks me hard and fast, gasping as he pushes us both over the edge into ecstasy. He collapses and lays on top of me panting.

That was one hot night...

Wait a minute

I am at a complete loss. I do not understand why people lie. It makes no sense to me at all.

Why tell me you have done something when you have not. Why lie to me about your age, height, body type, religion, orientation, marital status.. any of it? I don't understand.

I recently found three former lovers lying to other people. Stupid lies, about age and appearance. You can't change your age hun, it's just a number really. As for putting up a picture of yourself from 10 years ago... don't you think they will figure this one out?

This allows me the ability to cast all interaction between us in doubt. It is now overshadowed by your lies. Even though your lies were not directed at me!

I am a very open minded accepting person. Deception is not required to gain my friendship. Attempts to manipulate me with lies will only lead to my scepticism and red flag you. I don't play with people who have red flags.

If you lie to me, you immediately remove my ability to consent. Everything you do from the lie forward is non-consensual.

Is it how you get off? Do you fear I will reject you?

I will tell you this, if you lie to me, I will find out. Maybe not today, tomorrow, or next week. I will find out at some point, and when I do, I WILL walk away. Thats right, your fear of rejection will become a reality.

Oh and you.. the cheater who denied me the truth.. you hurt me, yes you do. Everytime I discover a new liar another piece of my trust in basic humanity just dies. You are a soul thief, stealing bits of my life, of my precious time and energy.

Are you proud of being one of the crowd of common thieves? Or being a non-exceptional person, who schemes and spins yarns to get what they want? Do you steal candy from children too? Despicable!

Ask for what you want, state your truth clearly. These are the people I willingly accept into my life. These are the extraordinary lovers, friends, and play partners that I will devote time and energy to.

Liars, are forever banned from my life.

I love my butt

Ahhhh yes I do love my bum. From my great round cheeks to the sensitive crack, right down to the sensitive rosebud...

Spank, flog, scratch, bite, cane, tickle, fuck... mmmmmm it's all good!

Butt sex is very good.. I am happy of the recent reminder. Thank you much :)

The denial continues.. I was recently fucked six ways from Sunday, and denied orgasm the entire time. I want to cum so badly I am ready to scream and am sending begging messages continuously. I have been trying to convince him that I want it. So far I have failed.

His dick in my hand and balls in my mouth, failed. His pecker stroked and prostrate massaged, failed. His cock in my mouth and my finger in his ass, failed.

(omg I am dripping wet typing this out)

His peter in my pussy, failed. His dong in my ass, and me sobbing and begging to cum, failed. Ah! The agony!

Success is imminent I shall not give up! Cock ring and butt toys are next... if I please him... I can gush... oh please oh please oh please!!!!!!

The Crypt

"C'mon Sara it will be fun, and private..."

Mark was trying to convince me that going for a midnight picnic in the old graveyard was a good idea. He was not doing a great job so far.

"The beach is private to Mark"

He shrugged, and started packing a bag with thermos full of hot cocoa and snacks. I grabbed a few blankets from the hall closet and we got in the car, Mark was driving.

"This is not the way to the beach." I frowned and looked out into the darkness, trees were crowding close around the road and my imagination was already starting to run away with me.

He just smiled and placed his hand on my thigh, trying to be reassuring I suppose. I tried to relax and not think about the dead bodies in the ground.

We pulled to the side of the road and he flashed a quick smile at me as he shut the car off, his teeth gleaming bright white in the surrounding gloom. I shivered and grabbed the bag, opening my door and slipping out into the cool moonless night. I was glad I had brought blankets.

A thick fog began creeping across the ground as we slipped between a gap in the fence and we surveyed the old tombstones poking out of the earth, senseless to mark someones passing with a stone that will last much longer than their own life did.

The trees have been slowly taking this space back and the grass is growing long. We wander through the yard, stumbling over a tumbled stone, until we get to the entrance of a large stone mausoleum. I am gripping Mark's hand tight and he is grinning, he likes it when I need him to feel safe.

I spread out one of the blankets next to the wall, the fog is very thick now and I can barely see. Mark is blending in as he wore all black and he has such dark hair.

"Sara I forgot to lock the car I will go do that." He wanders off and leaves me all alone. I am stuck watching the fog roll in thicker and waiting for him to return.

I shiver and wrap the second blanket around me, when I hear him returning. He is silent as he comes out of the darkness and I can only see the pale glow of his skin as he settles onto the blanket in front of me. His features blurry in the fog, he reaches for me and touches fingertips over my face. His hands are cold and I shiver and pull the blanket tighter.

He moves closer and I notice for the first time how good he smells, all earthy and like clear water. He pulls me into his embrace and I cuddle close against him. He feels so strong and I am lulled into a feeling of safety. His face is buried in my hair and he is smelling me and making yummy sounds. I mmmm right back at him. I turn and kiss his cold lips, tangling my fingers in his hair and pressing close. He has never felt so good and never been so passionate. I guess this was a good idea!

I press closer and feel his hands sliding up my shirt and cool fingers pinch my nipples, I arch my back and break our kiss to gasp at the intensity of it. His lips are kissing along my jawline and down my throat. I feel him bite just above my collar bone, I shudder and surrender to him. My hands slide under his shirt and caress his back, shivering as he feels so cold. He pulls my shirt up and kisses my breasts, cool lips tracing over my skin and making goosebumps. He lays me back gently on the blanket and murmurs soft loving words.

I feel a sense of unease as he kisses my lips harder, his lips are so firm, and stone cold. I try to move away and realize I am trapped under him. I struggle to move my head and pull back far enough to get a good look, his eyes flash open, startling grey-blue eyes gaze back at me. Mark's eyes are brown.

I scream and struggle wildly against him, it is like fighting stone. He moves only to place a hand over my mouth and to smile down at me. His teeth glitter white and I am startled by the long canines.

"We were having such lovely picnic darling. Don't ruin it by fighting me, we were just getting to the best part."

His voice is mesmerizing me, like silk it flows over me, soft and smooth. Staring into his calm eyes I feel the peace restored within me and I relax... wondering in a small corner of my mind if I have gone crazy. The thought is to far away and doesn't stir enough emotion to cause any action.

His lips are carressing my cheek and his cold hands are sliding over my body and setting my senses on fire. He kisses down my throat to my bared chest and his lips feel so gentle and soft. His teeth are sharp and I barely feel him puncture the skin of my breast. He licks the wound and now his tongue is warm with my blood. I feel him drawing blood through the two small holes.. he is warmer now and his hands are questing between my legs, my hips rock and I revel in his touch. His tongue is licking my nipple and I am shuddering as his fingers slide inside and press deep. Gasping in pleasure as his teeth graze my nipple and his thumb slides, wet from my juices, over my clit.

He shifts and is pulling his cock free of his pants, he is hard and I am ready to feel him inside me. Arching my back as he slides inside, two long strokes and I am cumming. I cry out and dig my nails into his back. His pale grey eyes are staring into my bright green gaze, I see nothing but his eyes as I am transported in waves of desire.

I hear a low growl from him and he bites me again just above my nipple, drawing my blood as he sucks the tiny punctures and my nipple. I am straining to meet each of his thrusts. His hand squeezes my breast and the other tangles in my hair. He growls louder and I feel him spasm inside me, I clench my muscles triggering my own orgasm.

So gently now he withdraws, and wraps me back in my blankets. I am cold and sleepy, it must be very late... I curl up on my side and look at him in the fog, unable to keep my eyes open I drift off to sleep..

I awake the next day warm in my own bed. I sit up and stretch, looking around and wondering how I got home... the last thing I remembered was Mark going to lock the car.. I wonder what he spiced the cocoa with. I stumble out of bed and notice how sore and weak I feel. Crossing to stand naked in front of the mirror I am shocked by the deep purple bruises covering my bruises.

Wait until I see him again I think, snatching my phone from my bag and sending him a text that read only "Bad boy" a few moments later he responds with "good girl". I grin and toss my phone in my bag to jump in the shower.

Stephan watches her from the window and sees her grin at the text. He likes this one and will keep her as a toy for a long time... He is so glad he got that silly boy out of his way..

Halloween is coming :)

Denial

Oh how sweet that word. I love to be denied pleasure.. for some reason it makes getting it finally so much more intense.

I have not had an orgasm in 2 weeks. When recently asked the longest I have ever gone my response was 6 months.

I had just split from my first dominant and I was trained to cum only when he desired it. I had "forgotten" how to cum on my own. That and when I had forced him from my home, and removed the bonds between us I had crumpled to the floor and experienced for the first time a love loss. I "keened" it was an intensely painful experience, and I spent nearly a year regaining my sense of self.

Orgasms was something I needed to reclaim and it wasn't until I was speaking with a Dominant friend who then asked me how long since I had orgasmed (as I was eating mass quantities of chocolate) that I realized my last orgasm had been at J's command. He immediately told me to go cum 3 times, which I did and I felt much better afterward. It took me about another 6 months to regulate my masturbation so that I was cumming with any regularity.

I have had another Dominant since then and a Master and a Mistress, and a few lovers... Master had the biggest effect of all of them on my self love. None of them practiced denial so I never had to go through such a strange bondage through orgasm again.

I am currently being denied. It is making me lusty. I am on edge and antsy and I want to fuck so badly I think I will die. I expect that my first orgasm will be a flood and I best bring some waterproof sheets and plenty of towels. Denial causes a river in me LOL.

The begging has commenced and I am ready to cum at a moments notice.

The Rain

I went for a long walk this morning in the rain. I enjoy fall rain, it is nourishing. I wore clothes I could get wet in and I sloshed through puddles as I walked.

Feeling the rain slashing down on me and running in rivulets over my body is soothing to my soul. I imagine I am of the earth and need the rain as the goddess does.

At home again I walk through my house to the backyard and strip off my wet clothing. Naked I wander through my yard, grass soaking wet under my feet, earth squishing in between my toes. My hands caressing the leaves and trees and ferns. I am blessed to be able to embrace nature in my back yard in the rain.

I lean my back to the birch tree, the bark smooth against my bare skin and turn my face to the sky. Thank you for the rain today, the drops wash my face and my tears mingle. I shudder and sigh softly, opening my mouth to feel the cold wet drips on my tongue.

I am not sad just a bit tired of having to hide who I am from the people I love the most. My tears are out of minor frustration, and out of longing for freedom from self restraint. I have freedom in many forms, but that one area I will never be free of.

I turn and embrace my tree, I will miss this tree when I move. Pressing my cheek to the bark and knowing we will only have one more moonlit night together, and when we do he will sleep while I dance.

I go inside, pick up my wet clothes and climb into a hot shower.

Happy Birthday to me

I bought myself a new toy today. It is called a Fulcrum Flame. A smaller pocket knife, a bit flashy (like its owner) an interesting way to click it open, and an interesting hilt that fits in my hand perfectly. The steel is cold to the initial touch but warms quickly.

I adore knife play, there is something intensely erotic to me about the feel of cold steel. So hard and sharp, unforgiving. I get creamy just thinking about it.

I am laying in bed at this moment running the edge of it over my skin and getting very aroused. It is quite sharp, although I believe it should be sharper. The actual blade is black so only the edge and point shine in glow of the monitor. The point is very nice... I touch it to my nipple and sigh softly. Delicious, and the memories it brings up are bright and startling.

It has been months since my knife scene at a local club and I think I need to repeat it again soon. I found the bits of my clothing in my closet the other day. I keep them and when I need a rush I open the bag and run the pieces through my hands. The rope collar is visible from where I am laying. I pick it up often to feel the prickly and stiff work rope and steel clasp.

Sharp pointy things excite me.

I have a strong desire to drip wax on a body and then use my blade to scrape it off their skin. I want to glide the sharp edge over their skin and watch the reactions. Hmm perhaps I should erect a sign up sheet.

I want to share the joy.

Thank you to everyone who contributed to making my birthday a happy one. My last year has been amazing and wonderful and I can only believe this one will be even more incredible. The list of events I attend has grown over the last year and I have found a few private spaces that I enjoy playing in and one public space.

See you around.

Glittering Star

This is for a certain star that wandered my way one day and was kind enough to shed his glittering light into a darkness I was feeling. Thank you, I hope you always know how much I appreciate your friendship.

We had met previously at several very public events, munches mostly. I knew his reputation definitely preceeded him and that he was highly respected. He knew I had not scened in a year and a half, I was nervous, and I was in nearly dire need of pain stimulus. I had a chaperone accompany me to his place to scene, she was someone I trusted (and still do explicitly).


We negotiated, I expressed my concerns as I had not scened in so very long. My thoughts were that I would top out quickly and that my pain tolerance would be very low. We looked over his floggers, he asked my preferences, a pair of new vampire gloves he had made became part of the scene. Wartenburg wheel which was one of my favorites. A few crops, I declined needles, and declined on the canes.


We were ready and I still had my clothing on... he looked at me expectantly, I shivered, this was all so new after being a slave. I disrobed, thinking that I better move it before he decides he doesn't want to play.


His spanking bench was set up in the middle of the room and I turned and bent over it. I could feel his hands slide over my skin, I was warm but felt so cold inside. Fear was cresting like waves inside me, beating against the inside of my skin. I gripped the bench and he started to spank me with his bare hands. I was fairly silent, and very still, absorbing the pain and allowing it the resonate inside me like nearly forgotten music. My skin felt warm and tingly and I could feel myself beginning to reach into his swing. Asking for more, craving everything he could give me.


I felt the leather falls carress over my ass, he trailed them up and down my back. I trembled in anticipation. I had told him I wanted thud, and I knew he was about to give it to me. Shifting my weight slightly I bent forward and rested on my elbows. The strokes began.


Hard, slow beats of the flogger against my ass.. I was enchanted with the rhythm, with the way he varied the tempo and intensity. I relaxed and let go of my fear and opened myself up to the glorious sensations. I was drifting, the thud, THUD of his flogger lulling me. Trance like I move back so I am resting on my hands, and he begins beating my back. It is unlike anything I have felt before, I am perfectly still and I must be nearly silent, I am internalizing all of this pain and feeling his energy flow down through the falls of the flogger and into me. It is a slow burn that grows in it's intensity as he thuds harder and harder into me.


He switched to a bunny fur flogger, rubbing it over my reddened and swollen skin. I am rocking my hips and swaying and moaning softly. The cool fur feels so good against my back and bum. Then I feel a WHUMP as he hits me with it, still soft but with a definite thud. I like this and say green, he hits me with it several more times and I feel the tension start leaving my body. I start shedding the last of the restraints that were left from Master.


His heavy flogger is back in his hands and he is striking me harder and faster. I am gasping and arching my back, wanting more.. oh please I need so much more. He is talented with his flogger and I feel like a puppet on a string. It is good we negotiated before hand, and good I brought a chaperone. I am utterly defenseless against his assault, and I have no desire for anything but the continuing fall of those wicked thumping leather strips against my sensitive skin.


He trades the flogger back to the bunny flogger, rubbing me with it as he asks if I am ok, I respond yes and nod. He asks if I want to continue and I say yes. I hear his soft chuckle and the bunny is removed from my burning hot skin.


He replaces it with a crop. This is cruel I think and tears smart as I squirm a bit and lean forward on my elbows to hold myself still. His crop is between my legs and swatting my inner thighs, it is to much and I call "YELLOW" He stops immediately. His hand is on the small of my back, he has dropped the crop. He brushes the hair out of my face and looks in my eyes. I am panting, "please not there, please not the crop inside my thighs" His response is OK. His hands are rubbing my flaming skin. He gives me a few minutes to gather myself and I take several deep breathes and nod my head that I am ready to continue.


He picks up the crop and taps me on my butt with it a few times, assuring himself and me that I am ok. Then he starts making welts on my ass and the back of my thighs. I am crying out with every strike now and the pain is sudden and sharp, orgasmic in its release. I am flying higher than ever and I am still feeling his control over the entire scene. Confident now that my needs will be respected I shudder as I release all the pent up fear and soften into a deep submissive state.


His flogger is back again, has he switched to a heavier one? It feels like an even deeper thud and I am utterly mindless as his attack on my back and bottom continues.


He flogged and cropped and spanked me for over two and a half hours on my back. Then he wrapped me in a blanket and had me sit on the spanking bench and sip water. I relaxed and drifted and felt my attention wander for a moment.. the water felt so nice and cool trickling down my throat, my ass and back were on fire and it felt like maybe the water was pouring down the inside of me when it should be on the outside.


That was when he picked up the wartenburg wheel. I set the empty glass aside as he approached me with a sly smile on his face. "Didn't you say that you liked this little toy." Mute with eager anticipation I let the blanket fall open at my chest and lean back thrusting my breasts towards him. He responds by rolling the wheel across my nipple and I gasp and close my eyes. Delicious sharp edge of pain, so cruel and so very neccessary to my being. I soak it up as he drags the pointy wheel over my boobs, poking in a pattern only he can discern. I am shuddering and gasping and begging him with every cell in my body for more.


He is laughing at my response and I can do nothing to hide it. I am defenseless again and vulnerable, and I feel infinitly safe. He stops and puts on a vampire glove. I am shaking uncontrollably in desire. He starts by gripping my shoulder in that wicked grasp, points digging into my skin. I am transported to another place, and this begins my love of vampire gloves.


The next hour is spent scratching and poking and tormenting my breasts, tummy, tops of my thighs, and all my front bits. The wheel, the gloves, and a crop that is expertly wielded.


The scene slows and ends, I sit wrapped in the blanket and he is kneeling in front of me and I am hugging him. I am so glad I followed my instincts and allowed this scene to take place.


Blissed out I slowly dress and then sit on the couch between him and my chaperone. Warmth and comfort surrounds me, I am pleasantly achy and stretch my legs out, flexing different muscles as I slowly drift back to earth. The room is filled with soft conversation and I am lulled.

Just a small note, this was likely the longest scene I have personally bottomed in and I still had marks 3 weeks later. I enjoyed every moment, even when I yellowed I enjoyed the response, and that I was confident to continue the scene.

Sore Butt

Last night I was spanked twice.

First time being spanked I was partially encased in pallet wrap with another girl. We were facing each other, boobs squished in together, pussy's rubbing together. It was hot and sexy and the gorgeous woman who had us stuck together was smacking our asses alternately with paddle and crop.

Being the sadistic switch I am, everytime gorgeous would spank me I would giggle maniacally and swat my fellow captive on the butt. Of course I was in the perfect position to do so! She in turn would squirm and laugh because I was laughing and this would make our pussys slide against each other. We were all laughing and having a great time.

We ended up tumbled together and getting each other off while licking and biting each others nipples, all the while our orchestrating Top fingered and rubbed our pussy's.

It was a delicious squirmy wiggling fun time.

The next spanking was solo and much harder and more intense.

Same Top, (I think I am in lust) and same position (arms extended over my head.) This time I am in a pair of very nice soft, fabric cuffs and hooked to the suspension hook of an A frame. Balancing on the balls of my feet and awaiting the strikes to start. Same tools are shown to me and I am ready.

She starts hitting my ass with the crop and I start dancing and laughing. I simply can not help it.. I ooo and ahh and sway as she rubs the spots she hit and then starts striking again and I abandon myself to endorphines and laughter.

She asks if it is to much and I say noooooooo more (meaning omg please hit me again!). She laughs and comments that I am fun to play with and I am delighted to hear she is enjoying this as much as I am.

She switches to the paddle and I am squealing and laughing and squirming and dancing and thanking the goddess for granting me flexibility (think back bowed and twisting). I know there are people around me watching and laughing and commenting and it only serves to push me further into my headspace.

This is one of my birthday spankings, we didn't count and I didn't expect to be able to count. I am so pleased with how it all went down... even if today my butt is tender. As I sit here and type the memories flood back and my senses reel in the sweet glory of her attention.

Thank you for the sweet gift.

Ganged up on

There is something to be said for coercing a willing victim!

The beautiful woman was putting on her shirt again, I had scened with her twice already and the first time it was her idea, the second time I practically begging her to take her clothes off and spank me. She was willing thank goodness heh.

I was sitting recovering from said spanking when she put her shirt on. The girls around me seemed as distressed as I was by this event.

Together we convinced her to take her shirt off and join us in semi-private for a three against one, girl sex session. I am sure you can imagine how difficult it was to persuade her. Lube toys and gloves were grabbed, and soon we were ready for her.

She was laying naked in the middle with one of us on either side licking, sucking and biting her sexy breasts and nipples. A third girl was between her legs, licking her clit and fingering her. Out came a vibrating bullet and that got rubbed first on her nipple and then on her clit. She was so hot and we all commented on how sexy she was.

We rotated around, taking turns sliding fingers into the sexy woman's juicy pussy. A bottle of lube was being used liberally and we were all intent on pleasing this woman that had done so much that night to please me. My fingers buried in her, first one, then two, then three. I could have probably fisted her, my hands are small but she had stated that she didn't want anything huge. It was so yummy to have her grinding and humping into my fingers, her moans were coming faster. She would giggle every so often and we were all getting steamy hot pleasuring her.

Her orgasms came hard, and after the first one she begged us to stop but we just couldn't, we needed more from her and we could tell she had more. I looked at my co-conspirators and kept thinking "dayam I love my life" the bullet in my hand, I watched the girl across from me pull the clit hood back on the girl we were gleefully attacking. I touched it to her bared clitoris and watched her squirm and writhe and moan. So hot and sexy, I rubbed the bullet over the tip of her clit while one girl fucked her with a vibe and the other stroked the shaft of her clit. We pinched her nipples and watched as she flushed bright red and started shaking in throes of orgasm.

After we all cuddled and chatted and touched her gently, bringing her back down gently.

The only thing left to say is mmmmmmm teamwork rocks!

Anytime this month works :)

I am re-posting my list as the last one got a bit buried. So far I have been delighted to receive several of my wishes and these are the types of gifts that a girl can never have enough of  :) I am of course open to receiing gifts that aren't on my list as well LOL. Please remember everything I do requires consent, if you don't know what that means or how to get it, just ask me, I am happy to explain.


My Birthday Wishlist




One spanking (if I miss count will you start over please)



One fist inserted in my pussy until I orgasm like a crazy woman.



Sexy kisses with a pretty girl (you know who you are)



Nipple nibbles!



A good flogging (someday I will have my own flogger)



A wartenburg wheel! (I covet my neighbour's wheel! Please help me stop sinning*snickering*)



My hair pulled until I am gasping for release.



Marks! (I always wanted good marks in school)



A use for my pretty purple vetwrap.



A boy to tie up and tease for a few hours. (hmm this might "tie" in with the wish above)



A shopping trip for sexy lingerie with sexy friends! (whether we buy anything or not I just wanna goooooo)



A massage.



A foot rub.



Someone to shop for a strap-on with me (I have a whole big fantasy in my head around that one too)



Oooo and I want to go watch strippers, male or female doesn't matter, I have never been and want to go so badly! (private strip teases are welcome!)

Autumn is lovely!

Fall is forever my favorite season. Even though I adore sunshine, and I thing summer is a great time to be hot and go to the beach in barely there clothing. Autumn is truly my season. Why? I like the colours of the leaves as they turn, I like fog, I like thanksgiving, I like Halloween. And most importantly its my birthday! There is one more reason I love fall... I can hide the marks better.

I have this great friend I scene with who has a knack for leaving marks in very precise places. During the summer I showed up in a sundress and advised him he could mark me everywhere the fabric covered. I was delighted when I put my dress back on after our playtime and the marks were all perfectly concealed. Yea!

Now it is long sleeved season and I am free to be marked in the most delicious ways. OOOooOO I can hardly wait!

Happy Hump Day

Hello all my fellow horny hump day lovers. What a glorious day for sex and shinanigans of the come fuck me nature.

Unfortunately I have injured myself and am on a small hiatus from humping. It is to cruel too imagine restricting myself to only toys and my imagination.. but it shall have to do for the moment. Besides, my weekend is looking to shape up into something lucious and sexually licentious.

This post is a day late due to technical problems (my laptop needs a new wireless card)